i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
