I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
