DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
