loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
