It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
