I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
