So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
