Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize