talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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