What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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