he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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