i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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