if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize