I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
you never un-have a 4some
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
