Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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