I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
