my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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