Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am mentally ready for anal.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
