I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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