I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
