I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
