life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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