If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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