Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

just tell him i said nine months

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(661): View more from California

is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?

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(209): View more from California

I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide

(231): View more from Michigan

please tell me this is not legit

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me

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(653): View more from

I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...

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(352): View more from Florida

Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with

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