is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize