Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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