I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
