either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize