You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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