Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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