You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
this is an emotional support booty call
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
