I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
