marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
