I cockslap morals
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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