I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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