that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize