Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
