If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
