gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
