meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
