I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We got so high we made milksteak
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
