true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
