Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize