apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
