Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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