Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
