i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
