If i come over, it means nothing
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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