All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
