It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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