He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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