Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Boobs are out for the taking
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
