where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
