If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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