dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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