I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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