Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will be naked everywhere
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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