no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
