what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
