I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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