i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
