I didn't shave. On purpose
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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