dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
